


Thicker Than Water

by Justakpoprose



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, because apparently I can't write a chaptered fic unless there's angst, but also could be seen as, if I think of anything else I'll tag it, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justakpoprose/pseuds/Justakpoprose
Summary: "Seungkwan was used to guys trying to become his best friend just to get close to Jinsul but with all the years he and Vernon had been friends, he’d never once thought he was one of them."or where Seungkwan is in love with Vernon but is sure Vernon loves his sister.





	1. Chapter 1

Seungkwan looked over at his best friend sitting in the desk beside his own. He was ignoring the teacher’s current lecture on some type of equation and how to apply it to questions and such at the front of the room. He’d had been friends with Vernon since they had met middle school when Vernon had still been shorter than him. When Seungkwan was still so chubby and even more awkward. His middle school days hadn’t exactly been the most fun of times. He’d only talked to the girls in his class, they made him feel safe, as he had no attraction to any of them and they rarely tried to befriend him for gain. Every male that approached him in middle school (several in high school too) wasn’t looking for friendship they were looking to use him, to get closer to his sister, Jinsul and when they found that didn’t work they quickly resorted to bullying. He’d lost count of all the days he’d come home, bruises littering his body.  
Jinsul was a year younger than him and attending the same school as Seungkwan just as she had in middle school. Even though she was the younger sibling Seungkwan lived in her and his older sister’s shadow. His older sister, Sojeong, was smart and talented and most of all, popular, his younger, Jinsul, was kind and beautiful and again, popular. Then there was Seungkwan who wasn’t particularly good at anything, his grades average, and any popularity he had ever gained was from people trying to get closer to his two sisters, which was quickly destroyed as they learned that had no effect.  
Then in his last year of middle school he’d met Vernon, sweet Vernon, he’d heard of him from the girls he was friends with, they’d swooned over his looks for years but it wasn’t until he came eye to eye with him on the first day in their history class that he realized how right they were. They’d become friends almost instantly and it soon became apparent to Seungkwan that even though Vernon was attractive, he was also a huge dork. He was and had always been silent in class, giving the other classmates the image of a cold chic bad boy but in reality, however, Vernon was shy and preferred not talking to strangers. However when he and Seungkwan started talking he could ramble on for an hour straight to him about some book he read or a tv show he’d just watched and Seungkwan was more than happy to listen. Even through his shyness though Vernon still found a way to stick up for him anytime someone began to pick on him. With Vernon, the “bad boy” as his best friend no one said anything to him and he was eternally grateful.  
It was practically impossible for Seungkwan not to fall in love with his best friend. He was handsome of course and each year that past he got taller and even more attractive but it wasn’t just about that, that wasn’t what made Seungkwan fall in love with him. No, it was more than that he was funny and kind and his presence made Seungkwan feel safe. Somewhere along in the five years, they had been friends Seungkwan found a second home, Vernon. He’d taken up space in Seungkwan’s heart and the smaller wasn’t sure he ever wanted him to leave.  
As Seungkwan stared at Vernon, he wondered if it would ever be possible for him to fall out of love with him, he didn’t think it was or at least he, hoped it wasn’t. Seungkwan reached out and poked Vernon on his side, hoping he would turn his attention away from the teacher and onto him, where it should be. There was no reaction. He poked him again and was confronted with the same response.  
“Vernon,” Seungkwan whispered, nothing.  
“Vernonie.” Still no response.  
“Vernon oppa,” Seungkwan whined quietly. He could see Vernon tense in his seat before he turned to make eye contact with him.  
“What?” He whispered harshly.  
“Pay attention to me.” He whined. Vernon sighed shaking his head and turning back towards the teacher.  
“Vernon,” Seungkwan whined again.  
“Seungkwan,” Vernon replied curtly, “There are three minutes till lunch I will give you all the attention you want then.” Seungkwan smiled to himself, soon he would have Vernon’s full attention on him, just how he liked it.  
_____

“Vernonie,” Seungkwan whined taking his hand, “It’s lunch, pay attention to me.”  
“You know Boo, if I fail math, it’s all your fault.” He sighed.  
Seungkwan frowned, “I’d never let you fail, we can just study when you come over today.”  
“You know,” Seungcheol spoke from across the table, “I’ve been wondering this for awhile, is there any day where Vernon doesn’t go over to your house?”  
Seungkwan scoffed, “Of course.”  
“Yeah,” Replied Vernon, “We go over to mine too.”  
Vernon turned back to Seungkwan, his other hand that was not holding onto Seungkwan’s reaching up to pet his hair, “Promise we’ll actually study this time?” He asked.  
Seungkwan nodded.  
“Wait,” Seungcheol interrupted again, “If you aren’t studying what do you do when you go over to each other’s houses.”  
Seungkwan looked at him confused, “What do you mean?”  
“I mean like… What do you guys end up doing?”  
Seungkwan looked at Vernon who was frozen to his seat, his face stoic, before turning back to Seungcheol, “Well, we play video games and watch shows and stuff.”  
“That’s it?” Seungcheol asked surprised.  
“I mean,” Seungkwan paused, “Sometimes we read.”  
“Wait, Seungkwan do you seriously not know?” Seungcheol asked. Jeonghan stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
“He doesn’t, he’s an idiot,” Jeonghan said.  
“Know what?” Seungkwan asked.  
“Oh my god, Seungcheol,” Jihoon spoke from the other side of Vernon, “He’s oblivious, of course, he doesn’t.”  
“Know what?” He asked again.  
“Don’t worry about it,” Jihoon replied, “Just eat your lunch.”  
Vernon and Seungkwan looked at each other, Vernon dodged his eyes shrugging, turning away to eat his lunch.  
_____

As Seungkwan walked down the hallway to his final class he found himself wandering back to the conversation at lunch, what didn’t he know? Vernon seemed tense, did he know? If Vernon knew then why didn’t he tell him? Seungkwan thought they didn’t keep secrets from each other. Seungkwan stopped for a moment. Well, except the fact that he was head over heels in love with him but he figured that was something was better left said. But what could Vernon possibly be hiding from him that everyone else knew?  
He walked into his class making eye contact with Vernon before moving to sit next to him. His mind still racing from lunch, what could he possibly be missing?  
“Vernon?” Seungkwan spoke. Vernon hummed in response, “What was everyone talking about at lunch?”  
Vernon froze, his eyes opening slightly before resting back into their original form. His face was expressionless and he turned away slightly, not looking Seungkwan in the face.  
“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”  
“Vernon, are you keeping something from me?” Seungkwan asked.  
“No, of course not,” He answered, his voice on the defensive.  
“Then why are you acting like this?” Seungkwan argued  
“Acting like what?” Vernon countered.  
“So, so tense and weird.” Vernon went silent, turning fully away from Seungkwan.  
“I’m acting normal, you’re the one acting weird with all of the questions.”  
Seungkwan scoffed, “I’m asking questions because you won’t tell me the truth.”  
“Seungkwan,” Vernon looked at him, his voice serious, “I promise you it’s nothing.”  
“Really?” Seungkwan asked.  
“Really.” Replied Vernon.  
_____

The walk to Vernon’s car was oddly silent leaving Seungkwan to wonder if in his line of questioning an hour before if he’d left Vernon angry with him. He stared at Vernon’s back as he walked ahead of him. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Vernon obviously didn’t like talking about the subject at lunch, but Seungkwan had ignored that and still brought it up. It was a crappy thing to do if he knew it made him uncomfortable but he couldn’t help it. He and Vernon didn’t keep secrets from each other. The only secret Seungkwan kept was his crush but that was something that would ruin their friendship. Maybe that meant what Vernon was keeping secret would ruin their friendship too.  
Seungkwan stopped at the passenger's side of the car waiting for Vernon to unlock the door. Before climbing in, the car’s air thick and hot from the summer heat. The back of his thighs were beginning to stick to the black synthetic leather of the car. The air conditioning finally came on as Vernon started the car and he finally felt he could breathe. Even as Vernon pulled out of the parking spot and turned to get on the road he was silent. It was eating Seungkwan alive.  
“Vernon,” Seungkwan finally spoke, “Are we still going to my house.”  
“Of course,” He replied.  
Seungkwan nodded, “You’re not mad at me, are you? I’m sorry I asked so many questions earlier, even though I knew it was making you uncomfortable.”  
Vernon sighed, “I’m not mad at you, it’s just…”  
“Just what?”  
“Just sometimes you don’t know how to drop something and it gets kinda annoying.”  
“Oh,” Seungkwan forced his eyes to focus on the road, “I’m sorry.”  
“Seungkwan,” Vernon sighed, “Don’t pout, you know I don’t mean that you’re annoying.”  
“I know, that doesn’t make it any better though.”  
“I didn’t mean to phrase it like that.”  
“But you still did.”  
“Seungkwan,” Vernon whined, “Don’t be mad at me.”  
Seungkwan smiled to himself, he loved when Vernon would put for him, “Nope, I still am.”  
“Seungkwanie,” Vernon’s voice was soft and sweet, Seungkwan tried to ignore the butterflies erupting in his chest and his heart speeding up.  
“It’s almost as if I hear someone talk but no one is here.” He joked  
“My boo,” Seungkwan froze, Vernon really knew his weaknesses didn’t he, “Don’t be mad, ok?”  
Seungkwan tried to stop himself from grinning but horribly failed. He nodded his head, “Ok.”  
_____

“I’m home!” He yelled as he entered through his front door. There was no response. “Huh, I guess Joseong isn’t home yet.”  
“Weird, what about Jinsul?” Vernon asked.  
“She’s going over to one of her friend’s houses today she’ll be home later.” He replied.  
“I guess that means we have the house to ourselves then.”  
“Yep! If Joseong doesn’t come home before my parents then we have at least a few hours!” Seungkwan could see Vernon tense up, “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, um,” He coughed, “I’m just hungry.”  
Seungkwan smiled at him, “Great so am I.”  
“Pizza then?” Vernon suggested.  
“I don’t have any money though…”  
“I’ll just pay then.” Vernon offered.  
“I can’t let you just pay for me again, you do that too often!” Seungkwan protested.  
Vernon chuckled, “It’s ok, you can just make it up for me later like always. I thought you were hungry?”  
“Fine,” Seungkwan grumbled.  
Vernon patted the top of Seungkwan’s head, looking down into his eyes. It was at moments like this Seungkwan really hated how attractive he was. Looking into his face and large eyes were more than enough to fluster him, but when Vernon just had to touch him while doing so he went weak. He tried to calm the beating in his chest to no avail. All Vernon was doing was patting his head and looking at him, yet it was enough to make him want to fall over and die.  
Seungkwan smiled back at Vernon. He leaned in wrapping his arms around the taller how instantly did the same with his own. They stood there a minute in Seungkwan’s living room hugging in silence. Seungkwan always loved hugging Vernon. How he would completely take him into his embrace and make him feel so warm and welcomed. How his chest was firm and comforting as it supported Seungkwan’s head. Most of all though, he loved how it was when they hugged like this that Seungkwan really got to be selfish. When he could touch Vernon completely with the perfect excuse.  
“Seungkwanie,” Vernon whispered, Seungkwan looked up at him, their faces mere centimeters, “I’m sorry for earlier.” He could feel Vernon’s breath on his lips.  
“No,” Seungkwan whispered back, “I was the one who started it in the first place.”  
Vernon sighed, maneuvering his head to bury his face in the crook of Seungkwan’s neck. Seungkwan could feel his lips touching his skin making his cheeks flush a deep red. “When did I get so lucky?” Vernon mumbled.  
“That day in middle school when you finally met me.” Seungkwan giggled.  
Vernon nodded his head, “I think you’re right.”  
Seungkwan laughed, pulling away from Vernon, “Order the pizza, oh, and get us something to drink, I’m going to go put a movie on in my room.”  
Vernon smiled at him, “Anything for you Boo.”  
_____

The pizza arrived earlier than expected, it wasn’t until halfway through the movie that they were interrupted again.  
“I’m home!” Seungkwan heard his younger sister yell from downstairs.  
“Oh, I should go tell her we’re here,” Seungkwan spoke pausing the movie and moving to stand up.  
“No!” Vernon stopped him, “I mean, I need to refill our drinks anyways, you stay here.”  
“But I’m not even halfway done with mine.”  
“Perfect, it’s half empty it needs more.”  
Seungkwan looked at him confused, “Then I’ll come down with you.” He moved to get up again.  
“No,” Vernon pushed him lightly back onto the bed, “You shouldn’t have to get up! I’ll be right back I promise.  
Seungkwan looking at him questioningly before sighing, “Alright, just hurry up, we’re about to get to the good part.”  
Vernon nodded his head rapidly before exiting the room.  
Vernon broke his promise, it had been almost 15 minutes since he had left the room and he was still not back yet. Seungkwan grumbled pushing himself off the bed and walking out of his room. The first thing Seungkwan heard upon leaving the room was Vernon laughing which caught him off guard, then talking, the words were incohesive as the distance from his bedroom upstairs to his kitchen downstairs mumbled the conversation being spoken. Seungkwan began down the stairs heading towards the kitchen  
Seungkwan didn’t exactly know what to expect when he reached the entry way, but Vernon passionately talking his sister was not it. He quickly hid behind a nearby corner, only his head slightly peeking around it to watch them. Jinsul said something making Vernon smile brightly. Seungkwan’s heart clenched, Vernon was only supposed to smile at him like that. He watched helplessly as Jinsul placed her delicate hand onto Vernon’s shoulder, still speaking on something Seungkwan couldn’t make out. Seungkwan wanted nothing more than to go grab Vernon and drag him back to his room but his feet stayed glued to the ground, unmoving. And before Seungkwan could comprehend what was happening, they had moved, Vernon pulling her into a tight hug. His heart sunk. He knew now what everyone was talking about at lunch. How had he not seen it before? Vernon was always so nice to Jinsul, sometimes even going out of his way to do so. Seungkwan was an idiot, just as Jeonghan and Jihoon had said earlier that day. Seungkwan was used to guys trying to become his best friend just to get close to Jinsul but with all the years he and Vernon had been friends, he’d never once thought he was one of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Seungkwan sat on his bed, in a complete daze. Had their entire friendship been a lie? Did Vernon really love his sister? Did he use him to get close to her? Seungkwan’s head felt dizzy, he’d known one day Vernon would fall in love with some girl, breaking his heart. He had prepared for that, but he could have never been prepared for that girl to be his own sister.  
“Boo,” Vernon called, opening the door, two cups of soda in hand, “I got our drinks.”  
Seungkwan looked up at him, his mind still reeling, “Oh, Vernon.”  
Vernon looked at him in concern, “Are you alright?”  
Seungkwan nodded, “What took you so long?” He knew the answer, he wanted to see if would Vernon actually tell the truth.  
“Oh,” Vernon was caught off guard, “I just spaced out for awhile while looking for the bottles…”  
He lied.  
“Ah well…” Seungkwan paused, where was he supposed to with that? He looked into Vernon’s eyes, he was going to be sick. He couldn’t do this, not right now at least. “Hey, Vernon?”  
“Yes?”  
“I’m feeling kind of tired, can we end it here today?”  
Vernon looked at him, worried, “Are you ok? Are you feeling sick?” He asked.  
He shook his head, “No, I’ll be fine after I sleep for a bit.” Vernon sat the drinks down on Seungkwan’s bedside table. He sat carefully on the edge of his bed, a few inches from him.  
“That’s alright, we can go to sleep now if you want.”  
Seungkwan couldn’t do that, he knew he couldn’t. If he spent one more second near Vernon he was sure he would actually get sick, “No, you can go back home.”  
Vernon chuckled, “We’ve taken naps together before it’s fine.”  
Seungkwan was silent, mind racing, desperately looking for an excuse, “I just…” He hesitated, “I just want to be alone right now.” Vernon’s eyes opened wide. Seungkwan knew being alone was out of character for him. That he constantly sought out the presence of others, especially Vernon but for the first time all Seungkwan wanted was to be alone, to be away from others, especially Vernon.  
Vernon nodded his head, “Yeah, I mean, that’s fine, I’ll get going... I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Seungkwan nodded watching as he grabbed his bag, leaving Seungkwan’s room.   
For a moment Seungkwan felt bad for kicking him out. Then he remembered his smiling face as he hugged Jinseol. How happy she was to fit into his arms, his heart clenched. Had these five years meant nothing to Vernon? He knew about Seungkwan’s experience with boys trying to get close to him just for a chance to talk to Jinseol but was Vernon one of them? Had Vernon secretly been courting his sister for the last five years? With every single sleepover at his house, every dinner, every time he came over, did that mean nothing to him, was it only an excuse to see Jinseol? Did Vernon see him the same way as the rest of the boys did in middle school, simply a tool to gain Jinseol’s affections?  
Seungkwan lowered himself into his bed, wrapping his comforter tightly around him. Using the warmth to calm himself down. He didn’t think he could look at Vernon tomorrow. Not when he knew exactly what Vernon was after, what his secret was that he was keeping away from him. Then it dawned on him, all of the rest of their friends knew. They knew and instead of telling him, instead of warning him, they stayed quiet, most likely mocking him behind his back. Was his last year of high school really going to be the same as every year of middle school? Was he cursed to have no male friends? Could he only be friends with the females who weren’t attracted to his sister? He’d trusted Vernon so much, he’d loved him, not just romantically but as his best friend as well. Vernon had betrayed him, the one person he’d trusted most had fooled him and he’d had no idea.  
_____

Getting up was a difficult challenge, he considered telling his mom he was sick just so he wouldn’t have to go to school, have to see Vernon and the rest of his friends who he’d once trusted. He pushed through it, however, quickly getting ready. Seungkwan looked down at his phone, hesitating. He didn’t want to see Vernon and considered texting him telling him to not pick him up. He couldn’t though. He didn’t want Vernon to know his anger, to know that he knew about his secret, and most of all how much Seungkwan wanted more than anything to never see him again. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Vernon shared so many of his classes with him, it would be awkward until graduation if they suddenly weren’t friends anymore. Seungkwan pocketed his phone. He’d fake it, not just with Vernon but with the rest of his “friends” as well. Seungkwan looked out his front window waiting for Vernon’s car to pull into view, and after a few minutes, it did.  
Even in the early hours of the morning, Vernon’s car was hot, Seungkwan was sure this was how it felt to be cooked in an oven.  
“Seungkwan?” Vernon asked grabbing his attention away from the ridiculous heat of the car and onto him. “Are you feeling better today?”  
Seungkwan wanted to scream, of course, he wasn’t okay! He’d seen him and his sister yesterday, he knew everything and his body ached with the truth. He nodded his head, “Yeah, I told you I’d feel better after I slept.”  
Vernon sighed in relief, “Good, I thought maybe something had happened.”  
Seungkwan smiled at him, “Of course not if something happened I’d have told you first.” No, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t tell Vernon anything, not when he knew the truth.  
Vernon smiled back, “You’re right, we do tell each other everything after all.”   
Seungkwan forced himself to laugh, ignoring the pain in his abdomen, “That’s why we’re best friends.” Another lie, Seungkwan was rolling in them at this point. They’d only been driving for five minutes and yet every single thing Seungkwan had said so far was a lie. He studied the side of Vernon’s face as he focused on driving. He wondered if Vernon would ever tell him. Would he do it after they broke up? Or maybe he’d tell Seungkwan after graduation, that way when they went to a much bigger university next year he wouldn’t have to worry about keeping up with their friendship. His head hurt thinking of each scenario of Vernon coming clean, in each one he was just as angry.  
Their friends waited for them at the front of the school, greeting them as they joined the group.   
“How was your hang out yesterday?” Jeonghan asked, tone clearly teasing.  
Seungkwan smiled at him despite the growing rage in the pit of his stomach, “The same as always.”  
Jeonghan sighed, “I figured.”  
Seungkwan felt like hitting him, he knew, he knew about Vernon and Jinseol and was mocking him straight to his face. He forced him to stay calm, keeping the smile on his face. He continued taking with the rest of them, pushing down the disgust he felt of seeing each and every one of their lying faces. Seungkwan soon found himself pushed to the back of the group, only being able to see their backs. He didn’t speak, he didn’t want to start a conversation with any of them. He stopped abruptly, watching as they kept walking, their backs eventually disappearing around a corner. They hadn’t even noticed he was gone, Vernon hadn’t even noticed he was gone.  
_____

Seungkwan desperately tried to act the same, as if the internal war inside of him wasn’t actually affecting him. As if every single time he looked at Vernon his heart stung in pain, mind replaying yesterday’s events. He still sat next to Vernon in all of the classes they shared, laughing at all of his jokes, talking lightly, trying to not let Vernon suspect him. It was a cowardly tactic to just ignore the problem, he knew that, but having Vernon and him speak on it would only hurt more. Hearing Vernon confirm their relationship would be a direct not only to his back but his heart as well. He never told Jinseol about his crush on Vernon but he had assumed she would have enough conscience to not date Seungkwan’s best friend. She knew about his middle school life as well. Not only had his best friend betrayed him but his own blood had as well.  
Lunch was torture, he sat at the same table, in the same seat as he always had, Vernon at his side. Every time Vernon reached out to him, petting his hair, or petting his hair and sometimes laying his hand gently on Seungkwan’s thigh, he tried not to flinch. With each touch, he wanted to move not only farther away from Vernon but away from the entire table of liars he currently sat with.  
“Hey Seungkwan,” Jihoon spoke, “Are you feeling okay? You’ve been kind of quiet today.”  
“Not to mention how you ditched us this morning,” Mingyu added.  
“Ah,” He stifled his urge to yell yet again, “I just have a lot on my mind right now.”  
“What?” Vernon asked confused, “You haven’t told me anything.”  
Jihoon looked at him shocked, “You haven’t told Vernon?”  
Seungkwan looked at Jihoon, “No.”  
“I thought we told each other everything?”  
Seungkwan looked at him, forcing himself not to glare, “Sorry,” He spoke suppressing any venom that could find it’s way into his voice, “It’s personal.”  
The table froze, staring at him, he shrugged it off starting on his lunch again. No one spoke. Seungkwan had just said something he knew none of them had expected him to say. He knew he was being a bit obvious with his anger but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.  
“Oh,” Vernon whispered, removing his hand from Seungkwan’s thigh, “I see.”  
Seungkwan felt no guilt, only the feeling of loneliness and anger. He more specifically was angry with his body, as it missed the warmth of the hand Vernon had just removed.  
_____

Vernon and Seungkwan didn’t speak for the rest of their classes. Although Seungkwan enjoyed not having to force a smile on his face, he missed the comfort of Vernon’s full attention. The hole of loneliness in his heart grew with each passing moment. He smothered the need to look at Vernon, to see the expression on his face, to look at his face that had made him swoon all these years. The pain he’d felt last night had refused to die out, only increasing in intensity as the harsh reality of everything sank into Seungkwan’s skin.   
He knew he’d have to look at Vernon, talk to him as he was his only means of getting home. He struggled to ignore the event that was rushing towards him rapidly. His history class had never gone by faster in his life and he was feeling extremely betrayed.  
They both kept up the silent even after they had entered the car. Vernon pulled out of his parking spot not speaking. A state of unease rushed over Seungkwan, they’d never been this quiet on the way home before. What was Vernon going to do? Yell at him? Admit to everything? If he could feel Seungkwan’s anger he’d surely have figured out he knew. However, Vernon kept silent until they pulled into Seungkwan’s driveway. Seungkwan moved to get out of the car but was stopped by Vernon grabbing his hand, pulling him back.  
“Seungkwanie,” He hated how his heart jumped at that simple name, “Is everything ok?”  
Seungkwan looked at him, everything was not okay, he was suffering and Vernon didn’t even know, and if he did, if he knew why, he wasn’t addressing it. Seungkwan smiled lightly, “Sorry it’s just, I’ve been kind of mad at Jinseol lately.” Would Vernon take the bait?  
“Ah, Jinseol,” Vernon nodded in acknowledgment, “What did she do?”  
“She’s just…” Seungkwan paused looking for an excuse, “I think he has a thing for one of my friends.”   
Vernon looked at him surprised, “Do you know which one?”  
Seungkwan shook his head, “No but,” He looked Vernon dead in the eyes, “If it turns out they’re I don’t think I could ever forgive them.”  
Vernon nodded, “I understand. You know, you’re sister’s always been so nice to everyone. I love that about her you know?”  
Seungkwan suddenly didn’t know how to breathe, his heart was clenching violently in his chest, he forced a smile another onto his face, “That’s something a lot of people like about her.” His smile was tightening by the second, “I need to go study, see you tomorrow?” He asked, trying to leave as soon as possible.  
Vernon nodded, “Of course!” Seungkwan left the car, making himself walk a normal pace to his front door. Upon entering he rushed to his room slamming his bedroom door shut. He laid his back on his door, the untouched wood cooling his back. He slowly slid his body downward, sitting against it, knees against his chest. Seungkwan couldn’t ignore reality, no matter how much he wanted to. Vernon was in love with his sister and Seungkwan was hopelessly in love with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Seungkwan always thought that unrequited love would get easier as time went on. He had always imagined he eventually he would fall out of love with Vernon, he would move on, find some nice boy at college and maybe by then, he could get married. It had been years since he’d realized he was in love with Vernon but it wasn’t getting any easier. Even if he loved Vernon, he was still his best friend. It wasn’t Vernon’s fault Seungkwan was in love with him, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t love him back. Most of all it wasn’t his fault that he’d fallen in love with Jinseol. Love was something out of a person's control, just as it had been for him when he’d fallen for Vernon.  
Seungkwan banged his head against the door. He was so selfish. If Vernon and his sister were in love who was he to stand in the way of them? He loved Jinseol with all of his heart, he wanted to see her happy and if Vernon did that he couldn’t argue. He was Vernon’s best friend and not once had he made his feelings apparent. If there had even been a slight chance between them he’d never taken it. He couldn’t blame the two people he loved so much for falling in love, he was in pain but he could work through that if it meant Jinseol and Vernon were happy.  
Seungkwan slowly stood back up on his feet. He wasn’t going to force them to tell him, force them to reveal the truth behind their relationship. If they hadn’t told him yet that meant they weren't ready, Seungkwan would wait. He would hold his breath and when it finally came like a swoop arrow to the heart he’d smile through the pain. He’d been selfish today but not anymore. Before Vernon was the man he was in love with he was his best friend who counted on him for support when he really needed it. And Seungkwan was going to do just that, support.  
_____

The ride to school the next morning was pleasant, filled with upbeat songs Seungkwan would belt out note for note, Vernon laughing simultaneously. They joked about their teachers and whatever dumb things their friends had done. Vernon would go on a rant about some book he just finished that didn’t end the way it was supposed to. In the car heading to school, Seungkwan forgot what heartbreak was.  
It wasn’t until he arrived back at the school he remembered. It wasn’t until he saw the knowing smirk that sat on Jeonghan’s face that the cruel reality came rushing back full force. Jeonghan knew about Vernon and his sister, he was sure all of his friends did but he wasn’t quite sure he knew about Seungkwan’s feelings. About how he felt for Vernon. If he did then he was cruel, knowing Seungkwan’s true feelings but saying nothing on Vernon and Jinseol’s relationship.  
He looked questioningly at Jeonghan, eyes squinting, his mind racing.  
“See something you like?” Jeonghan teased.  
Seungkwan brought his eyes back to normal size, “Jeonghan?” he asked, “Do you think we could talk for a bit?”  
Jeonghan looked at him in surprise, “Sure, what about?”  
Seungkwan blushed, “I don’t want to talk about it here.”  
Jeonghan smirked leaning down close to his ear, “Does Vernon know about it?” Seungkwan’s eyes flicked to Vernon who was staring at the two.   
Seungkwan shook his head, whispering back, “No, I just want to talk to you.”  
Jeonghan pulled back nodding, taking Seungkwan’s hand in his own, “Let’s go then.” he spoke before pulling Seungkwan along with him.  
Seungkwan had no idea how Jeonghan knew exactly what classroom was going to be empty and unlocked this early in the morning but he did, it really didn’t shock him much though. Jeonghan let him enter first before closing the door after the two of them.  
“So what’s so big that you couldn’t tell Vernon?” He asked, sitting on top of one of the desk.  
“I’m pretty sure you know what it is,” Seungkwan spoke, voice just shy of a whisper.  
“Depends,” Jeonghan answered, “You haven’t told me yet.”  
“You know about… My feelings.”  
“Your… feelings?” Jeonghan repeated, “Seungkwan please tell me you aren’t about to confess you’re in love with me.”  
Seungkwan blushed shaking his head, “You know I would never do that.”  
Jeonghan chuckled, “I know, I’m just teasing. You’re too in love with that idiot best friend of yours to ever notice someone as handsome as me.”   
Seungkwan’s eyes widened slightly, “So you did know.”  
Jeonghan laughed, “Of course I know, everyone does.”  
Everyone knew. Everyone knew about how he felt and yet none of them had told him about Jinseol.  
“How long,” He paused gathering his thoughts, “How long have you all known?”  
Jeonghan smirked, “It wasn’t hard to figure out, basically from the day we met you two almost a year ago now.”  
“So everyone who sits with us knows?” Jeonghan nodded his head, “Then,” He pause again, “Does Vernon know?”  
Jeonghan looked at him, expression traveling the unclear line of sympathy surprise, “Why are you asking?”  
“I can’t tell if he does.” Seungkwan spoke, “I don’t think he does but… There are somethings I just can’t tell with him.”  
“Seungkwan,” Jeonghan sighed, “Why are you asking me about all of this?”  
“Because,” He answered stepping towards Jeonghan so they were only about a foot apart, “Out of everyone I figured you’d be more likely to tell me the truth.”  
“Why would the rest lie to you?”  
“I think you know the answer to that as well.”  
Jeonghan sighed, “Honestly, I don’t think he does either but like you said, there are somethings you just can’t tell with him.”  
Seungkwan nodded slowly, looking down. He could feel Jeonghan pat his shoulder, trying to make him feel better. Seungkwan looked up at him, “Thank you.” he spoke softly.  
“For what?”  
“For finally letting me tell someone, for finally letting me say how I’ve been feeling for years out loud.”  
Jeonghan smiled softly at him, “I’m your friend Seungkwan, you can tell me anything, it’s ok.” Jeonghan wrapped his arms firmly around Seungkwan pulling him in for a hug, patting his back soothingly. Seungkwan hugged back. He felt a little freer having finally told someone his feelings. No matter how good it all seemed he couldn’t forget that Jeonghan had not only known about him, he never warned him. He spoke like a friend but acted like a snake but it was better than nothing. The again, Jeonghan could know nothing about Jinseol and was only teasing Seungkwan about his feelings.  
“Actually,” Seungkwan started. Before he could finish he was interrupted by the classroom door quickly opening. Seungkwan moved his head away from the hug and towards the door. In the entryway stood a very stiff Vernon.  
“Vernon?” Seungkwan called.  
Vernon turned and looked at him, his eyes flicking up and down. “Boo,” he spoke, “Class is starting soon, we should go.”  
“Oh,” Seungkwan pulled away from Jeonghan who looked oddly content, “I’ll see you at lunch Jeonghan.” Seungkwan waved, walking towards Vernon.  
Jeonghan grinned, “Of course, you know Seungkwan.” Seungkwan stopped walking, looking back at him, “You should sit next to me today.”  
Seungkwan paused, it wasn’t a bad idea, he needed to get over Vernon quickly for the sake of his sister and distancing himself could help. “Actually-”  
“He can’t,” Vernon interrupted, grabbing Seungkwan’s wrist firmly. Seungkwan turned his head, staring at him dumbfounded, “He has to help me today in lunch.”  
Jeonghan lifted an eyebrow, “With what exactly?”  
“Homework,” Vernon answered curtly.  
Seungkwan looked at him confused, “We didn’t have homework last night.”  
Vernon looked at him annoyed, “It’s homework we’re going to get, anyway I need your help so you need to sit next to me.”  
“Since when have we started doing homework during lunch?” Seungkwan asked confused.  
Vernon let out a huff of air, “Since today,” he began pulling lightly on Seungkwan’s wrist, “Let’s go, we have class.” Seungkwan nodded confused and as Vernon pulled him out the door he could swear he heard Jeonghan laughing behind him.  
_____

“Vernon, you helped me with this, what don’t you get?”Seungkwan asked, looking down at the math homework Vernon had placed in front of him.  
Vernon coughed, “I just, forgot I guess.”  
Seungkwan sighed, “This really isn’t like you, is something going on.” He couldn’t help but wonder if this was Jinseol’s affect.   
“No it’s just,” Vernon began, placing his hand on the top if Seungkwan’s thigh, squeezing softly.  
“Just what?” He asked, Vernon, looked away from him, avoiding Seungkwan’s eyes. He watched as Vernon’s eyes finally settled across the table. Seungkwan turned his head to see what he was looking at, Jeonghan. Seungkwan was thoroughly confused. He sighed in defeat, Vernon wasn’t going to tell him anything, “Do you want me to help you or not?” Seungkwan asked.  
Vernon turned back towards him, grinning brightly, “Of course!” Vernon leaned into Seungkwan as he explained how to work the problem, an arm wrapping around his waist, hand still on his thigh. Before Seungkwan noticed Vernon had laid his chin against Seungkwan’s shoulder. Seungkwan’s attention to the math formula in front of him was decreasing rapidly. His focus was swerving over to each of Vernon’s touches. The warmth that transferred onto his skin, the slightly tingly feeling of his body each time Vernon shifted slightly in his seat or squeezed down on his thigh.  
Seungkwan stopped, “Vernon?” he asked. Vernon hummed in response, almost as if he was in a daze. “What are you doing?”  
Vernon froze, turning his head slightly to look at Seungkwan whose face was only centimeters away, “What do you mean?”  
“You just,” Seungkwan struggled to find the words for a moment, “You just seem extra touchy today.”   
Vernon buried his head into Seungkwan’s shoulder smiling, “That’s because,” Vernon looked back up at him, “You look extra cuddly today.”  
Seungkwan coughed in an attempt to stop the blush forming on his cheeks, “Whatever,” he mumbled, turning back to the worksheet and beginning to explain again. His heart racing as if it didn’t know what the word slow was. Seungkwan was sure this was some level of hell. How was he supposed to get over Vernon when he kept doing things like this. He had decided to support Vernon and Jinseol, to no longer love Vernon but he was not making it easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than my past chapters but I hope you all still like it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating my internet was down for awhile and I also went on a road trip so I didn't have internet then either plus I have writer's block and it's all just a mess really. Anyways, this is a short update because of the writer's block but I hope you guys still enjoy it!

Seungkwan tried to keep his eyes down, avoiding the obvious target in front of him, Jinseol. He desperately wanted to look at her from across the dining room table but he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. The sight of the girl that had somehow gotten Vernon to fall in love with her. He couldn’t look at her and see all the things he was missing in himself, all the things he lacked for Vernon. And so Seungkwan kept his eyes trained on the plate of food in front of him.

“Seungkwan?” His mother called from her own seat. Seungkwan quickly looked up at her.

“Yes?” he replied.

“Are you feeling alright? You’re being very quiet and you’ve barely spoken.”

“Ah,” Seungkwan hesitated for a moment, “I’ve just been thinking a lot about school lately.”

“Is it Vernon?” He heard his younger sister ask. He flinched slightly at the mention of Vernon’s name. Seungkwan finally looked at her. It was more painful than he imagined.

“What are you talking about?”

“Usually if something is upsetting you it has to do with Vernon,” Jinseol spoke casually before taking a bite of her food.

Seungkwan’s mind raced looking for an excuse, “He’s just been,” he paused panicking, “Weird lately.”

Seungkwan watched as his sister froze in her seat, “Has he said anything weird?”

He shook his head, “No, but he’s been acting weird, it just feels like he’s hiding something,” Seungkwan was trying to make it obvious that he knew, that they could trust him and tell him the truth.

Jinseol coughed, “Like what?”

“Like,” Seungkwan paused, “Like maybe he’s gotten a girlfriend or something.” he carefully watched Jinseol’s unchanging face before she smirked slightly.

“I’m sure you’re just imagining things.” Smirk now gone.

She’d lied too. Did neither of them trust him so much that they would lie straight to his face?

“I’m sure your sister is right,” he heard his mother speak, chuckling lightly, “It wouldn’t be the first time you over thought things.”

Seungkwan nodded. He took a bite of his dinner in a desperate attempt to keep himself quiet, to not yell at Jinseol that he knew the truth, that he knew of their relationship. Seungkwan didn’t know which was more painful, his sister lying to him or Vernon.

 

-

 

Vernon looked over at his phone as it started vibrating on his desk. He was slightly disappointed to see Jinseol’s name appear.

“Hello?” he answered.

“I’m not sure how you did it Vernon but you fucked something up.” The voice on the other end spoke.

He paused in confusion, “What?”

“Seungkwan thinks you’ve gotten yourself a girlfriend.”

“How did he possibly get that idea?”

“My brother is an idiot, didn’t I warn you about this?” she sighed, “Have you been doing what I told you to?”

“I’ve been trying but it’s like he’s avoiding me, plus how am I supposed to touch him more when that’s pretty much all I do when I’m with him?”

He heard Jinseol sigh yet again, “I swear to god, ok, new plan of action then. My brother is a total sucker for attention, ok?”

“Yes, I know this.”

“You know this and since you know it, just keep finding ways to compliment him. When some random guy compliments him on the street he talks about it for an hour at least.”

Vernon breathed in deeply, “Ok, yeah, I can do that.”

“Try not to screw up this time.” And with that, she hung up. Vernon wished she could be a bit kinder about helping him.

The bad thing about having a gay best friend who you’re in love with while you are also gay is that there is a chance. A chance for attraction. A chance for something more but you don’t know if it could really happen or not. This was the struggle Vernon currently was going through.

Vernon could vividly remember the day he met Seungkwan on the first day of school years ago. How he saw the boy with his soft cheeks and, at the time, frowning face. It was love at first sight. From the first word spoken from Seungkwan he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life beside this boy and so far he had. He’d been content with just that, staying by his side, just friends but it was their last year of high school, they’d be going off to college soon, possibly leaving each other. Seungkwan could meet some other guy who was 10x better than he could ever be and that pained him to think about. And so he decided he’d finally seduce his best friend, however, he had no idea where to start. So, he turned to the first person he could think to help him, JInseol, Seungkwan’s younger sister.

He’d been so relieved when she had agreed to help him claiming “it was obvious you’re in love with him” sadly Seungkwan didn’t see it. He’d considered the possibility that Seungkwan did know his feelings but simply ignored them, not feeling the same. However, with the fact that Seungkwan believed he’d gotten himself a girlfriend it was obvious he was oblivious to the others feelings.

Vernon sighed, placing his phone back on his desk, returning to his homework. As he moved on to the next question the image of Seungkwan hugging Jeonghan came to his mind. He slammed his head against his desk. What had they been doing? Did Seungkwan now have a crush on Jeonghan? Were they dating? They were in an empty classroom, did they expect this to escalate? Vernon groaned, hitting his head against the hard wooden surface yet again. Being in love sucked.


End file.
